Year in review

It's amazing, to think about all this year has been. There's so much to think about, regarding the actual events which have taken place during the units of time which have compiled within the year- and also regarding the life in the Spirit-of Christ- eternal life-outside of measurable time being lived, (and overflowing through moments) in the year.
Talking with siblings in Christ last night, a brother was asking questions which really blessed me to thoughtfully go through where I'd been taken, what relating to parents has been like, and highlights in different adventures- how cool, that each of these have been!
Last January, I'd been preparing to leave for Uganda. it was a miracle, study abroad semester, placed together through people like academic advisors, friends, and parents. Though I was wrestling with being an adult, relating to the parents God has given me seemed to be like a struggle in measuring value.
I wondered how much value to be placing on having a part in American society, knowing Jesus, having a family, and other things. Actually studying in Uganda felt very freeing. I was learning what seemed like so much, regarding culture, the Gospel being planted with a people group, communication, etc.
A couple highlights through that semester season, included: being a part of an amazing group of Jesus-loving American students, bird watching, climbing hills, enjoying the sun rise, stargazing, and visiting siblings in Jesus who were both East African, and non-Ugandans choosing to work in the country 'long term'.
Returning from the journey to Uganda, I didn't go, 'home'. This definition had 'changed' you could say- as did the purpose I had for living, the value of thankfulness, idea of humility, and the reason I would choose to 'do' things. Another huge change would take place, with the rebuilding of a 'house' of sorts, which I'd had with the parents I've grown up with. (This, being reference to what has been called the 'house of hate' I'd had toward them, which has been demolished for the sake of Love's house replacing:!)
The Lord had taught our group so much about hearing one another- hearing Him, and being honest about following Jesus. We asked questions, and aimed at Jesus' Kingdom for our answers together. We were learning to get rid of selfishness, and in this came a large beginning.
Walking from a class session one day, I entered our library area and searched for a book. Prayer was changing in all of what I knew it to be, and I just seemed to be left standing with the reality that Jesus prayed, so I will too. In so many ways, the fact that Jesus lives was becoming the reason for a lot of things in my life.
Another end to myself, came after much of the group's semester-long, meaningful, diverse, contemplations about Love. This 'thing', which God showed to us in sending Jesus, really was beginning to show itself to me as impossible. It may have been like the first twelve disciples, when Jesus referred to the rich entering the kingdom of heaven:
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Mt 19:26) Another picture was brought to mind, as my heart reached to touch the reality of its deprivation to independently love. A friend began telling me about her journey upon the Nile river- rafting. "It's like being in a giant organism, which you can't really do anything to change...you're just moved by it, and (it's awesome!)."
Love had become, in my mind, the hinge-point for living. No longer, could looking to the parents which I'd been given be the basis by which I lived. As much as they'd loved me, and promised to always love me, no one's love but the living Love of God in Jesus Christ could satisfy the longing for life.
As the summer season matured, I was brought to camp Qwanoes (which actually means, 'peace' in aboriginal language:). A peaceful place, filled with many people who weren't about living for themselves, or for their government (which is believed by some, as society continues to proclaim.) We shared testimony in Jesus that summer, as well as awesome beauty in relationships with so many people involved in the camp.
The Lord had begun something in me. A reason or two began to originate, for not returning just yet for school. I was certain that I would not just 'return', and 'finish school'. Jesus is Shepherd, and 'my' life, I wanted to completely be giving Him- just as he said to "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's." (Mt22)
Many questions by others soon followed. I needed to respond, as to whether I simply didn't value schooling anymore. It's not that I was aiming to be radical, or even choose to say something specifically to someone. I finally had turned to the problem within me, about the problems which exist in the world.
God was creating conclusions within me, about seeing that His love is for the world. His love is also, the most individually personal that any love could ever be. School continued to be a place which He allowed me to visit- seeing the family that He'd blessed me to be a part of through being there.
A season of rest seemed to ensue. I didn't even know how I needed rest- it simply seemed to be what ensued, becoming an important value. After life began to take shape around having 'quiet-time' with the Lord (which is gently forceful in testifying that Jesus lives:), it was like the next year was being set aside as a 'quiet time'.
"Be still, and know that I am God" -ps 46:10, was a continual theme through these weeks. I began learning (it felt like a beginning:) about things like balance, peace, purity. I'm really glad, that I was with the precious 'Coquitlum' (bc) community during the first part of this rest.
So many beautiful adventures I've been able to have this year! All I can do, is thank the Lord for this; I like adventures! I feel like He's been teaching me to live- allowing the core of life to blossom, from knowing Jesus- knowing that God has made me and loved me.
His making is much of what my eyes have been turned to- like with questioning roles, relationships, purposes (of people with one another, in the world, with God) Living is being cleaned of 'shoulds', and regrets, and guilt- and replaced with the lifeblood of grace in Christ.
Realization that resting has been created, makes me want to not forget how God has literally made/ created us in image of Him, and to be made into the image of Christ:) All the people around me are living with the image of God in them- and Jesus' life is to be living from I, and the siblings I share, in Christ.
I don't recall what others have claimed to see about me, much less do I know all the thoughts, or hypothetical situations which could be posed to me. It's like the disciples who were being told (-John 16:) about the Counselor to come, once Jesus had gone to the Father:
"the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things...they will make you outcasts from the synagogue, but an hour is coming for everyone who kills you to think that he is offering a service to God...the Spirit of truth... will guide you into all the truth."